When Yes doesn't mean yes.
Do You Know When and How to Say Yes and No?
Here we are at the very beginning of the holiday season, I'm not sure about you but for me the holidays tend to be excessive. Too much sugar, alcohol, spending, not enough me time. This year I am speaking out loud for you and the universe to hear, "No More"
How often do we find ourselves at work or at a social gathering, or with a specific person doing a specific activity, eating a specific food and the first thought or maybe the first after thought is, “What the hell am I doing ?” It's not fun, It's not supporting me in the powerful life I'm interested in creating, and there is the strong feeling of life force being sucked away. This choice that has been made, our choices, are taking us in the opposite direction we want to go.
So how does this keep happening?
I used to feel this way and ask myself these same questions constantly, and I won’t lie, it still comes up. I feel obligated, I feel guilty, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Can you relate? Well, enough already! What about us? How come we always come second? So it really comes down to honoring your yes’s and no’s. One good place to start is when you say yes to something is it going to give you energy and value? How do you know in yourself that that is true, is it a physical feeling that you get, or maybe you can truly calculate the value as a bonus to your life? How do you know when to say no? Will it be a drain on your time, energy, or money, what are the physical feelings to pay attention to in that case?
Many of us feel that “no” is a dirty word, but if “no” is said with kindness in a timely and firm manner, no guilt or unrest should be attached to it.
So let’s create clarity.
What are your top 5 priorities? It’s important to get past the to do lists… for example you might say taking care of your children is your number one priority. Yes important, but surface. What is actually underneath that to do? For me, taking good care of my daughter is important not only because I love her dearly, but I see it as stewardship for the planet and humanity, a way to make the world a better place. By making her a good human, I am helping to insure a positive future. So really the priority is that. Another example, getting up early to fit my workout in. Important to me, but why? Working out, makes me feel powerful and confident. My head is clear, my emotions are more stable. When I am in this state I am more creative, kind, and can serve others better. Cool! So then I might look at my calendar and see an event that is scheduled that I’m kind of dreading, it’s not truly an obligation, it’s going to be draining my energy, and zapping my confidence, keeping me up later, so I might miss my workout, It’s not in alignment with my priorities of inner and outer service and stewardship, it will be taking time away from something that I really enjoy like spending quality time with my daughter. It’s very clearly a no, but what about the guilt, obligation, and taking responsibility for others feeling?
What can we do about it?
Take an inventory: Are we resilient enough to withstand the guilt (remember guilt is only a feeling)? Yes, we absolutely are! Is it a true or perceived obligation? Can we stop being responsible for everyone else and trust that they will be OK? Takes practice, but it is a possibility.
In my practice I help clients, get clear on their priorities, find strength in their voice as they say “yes” and “no”, make choices that give them energy and are in alignment with their purpose and become master time managers. How? Through a structured system that offers support, stretch, and the right accountability. To schedule a clarity session with me, contact me at email@example.com
Lose weight on the air diet!
Ridiculous of course! But breathing, oxygen and weight-loss are connected
Breathing is proof that we are alive, proof that we are enough. The breath allows us to move with intention. The breath is an extension of our emotions. Yet the breath is easily forgotten and ignored. When is the last time you thought about your breath? Maybe in the last, yoga class you were in when you were reminded again and again of the power of the breath. You know, I feel like we all need to find our inner yoga teacher to remind ourselves to breathe mindfully more! Not only does it turn on the relaxation (also known as the feel and heal, or rest and digest) response, and help us practice mindfulness, but it can also help you to stoke your metabolism. Hopefully that will bring you attention to the breath!
A lot of people don’t know that oxygen is actually a key nutrient to speeding up your metabolism. Yet, oxygen is almost completely ignored in most nutrition books.
What’s important about oxygen when it comes to weight loss and increasing your metabolic burn?
Most experts focus on carbs, proteins and fats but ignore the one key nutrient—OXYGEN—that helps to burn all of these nutrients in the body better. The bottom line on oxygen is that when you breathe, you burn more energy. Think of the analogy of building a fire. When you build a fire you need two things: wood for fuel and good air circulation. The same is true in your gut. You need food for fuel and oxygen to stoke your metabolic fire.
This is one of the reasons why physical exercise is so powerful—it increases the body’s oxygen intake and teaches the body to use that oxygen to burn fat even more efficiently.
How can I start breathing while eating?
Try this simple trick—put your utensils down 3 times in your meal. Each time you put your utensils down, take a breath or 3. You can even do this when you’re at a work dinner or out with friends—it can be your little secret!
What do I do now?
In my health coaching practice, I help my clients completely transform HOW and WHY they eat, so they can find their ideal weight and gain energy easily and naturally without any crazy fad diets. If you’re ready for a radical new approach to weight loss and health, then schedule a clarity session with me, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or and let’s talk about simple changes that will give you BIG results.