How did my ego get to be such an A-hole?

How did my ego get to be such an
​a-hole?

I am finally feeling my light, after being in a pretty dark place for the last three weeks. What I realized is my ego needs work, like actual labor and a lot of it to feel valued in this world. I often get tricked by that and grind through my days until there isn't much left of me. I got caught up in that ego trance all summer. I skipped out on fun and time with family to "build my business" which really translates into trying to prove that I'm good enough. You know what happened? I ended up burnt out and bummed out.

The depression (which I haven't felt that deeply in a long time) was a wake up call. Then, it got even worse, that ego of mine was fighting me to stay depressed! It was like a spiritual battle, on one side the light in the form of kind support from my life lines. On the other side my ego telling me over and over again in the meanest voice you can imagine, "Get over it!". Days of allowing tears and feeling deeply (light). Frustration, fear and anger (ego). Then finally came the surrender, the light finally broke through and stayed. So what happened? Well, I put my work on the back burner and returned to connection, self love, and trusting that the business piece and my life would work out. (maybe not as I had planned, but in some wonderful way).

Within 3 days of serious acts of inspiration, movement and meditation, I had sucessfully shifted from ego to Self. I am light. I am back in gratitude. My heart is peaceful and open. My mind is clear. I am ready to go back into work/life with creativity and balance. Wow, I am empowered! I am capable of turning things around and being the creator of my own experience. We all are. One big take away, is that it's OK if we fall into ego, forgetting who we truly are. It's OK that  we need periodic reminding that we are the driver, ego is just along for the ride, as long as we deliberately put ego shotgun. We are not a failure when we forget (even though we may feel like it). We are just experiencing the ebbs and flows of our human-being-ness, which includes the cycle of BEING lost or stuck in the dark, awakening to our light, and then BEING our truth in the flow of life.  Who are you being right now?