There I was in my freezing cold car in the grocery store parking proving miracles can happen anytime anyplace.
I was in the middle of a coaching call, and my coach asked,
“What will having a successful coaching practice do for you?”
I answered, “It will show me that I have finally tapped into my magic, that I’m sustaining it and sharing it and inspiring others to find theirs.
She asked, “Have you ever felt your magic before?”
I said, “Yes” and told this story –
After our life-flight to a metro hospital, my daughter was born during an emergency delivery six weeks before her due date. As intense as that time was, I was called to create magic. I was the most poised, present, wise, and fierce version of myself. I advocated like a warrior for her to leave the NICU thriving and healthy.
During that month in the hospital, many serious decisions came up. Sometimes the professionals advised one thing, and my gut said another. I always went with my gut. Make no mistake when we went home she was small, but she was mighty.
Whitney replied, “So your daughter is your anchor for your magic.”
Let me tell you my world turned upside down, and this is why…
Once we were out of the hospital, we shifted into new parent survival mode. She started a 12-week bout with Colic on her actual due date. My husband and I were ready to drive the family off a cliff. I was isolated because she couldn’t be around germs. As she grew into a toddler, we had the tyrannical 2’s, 3’s, and 4’s. She was the most spirited, energetic, button pushing, raging (when she wanted to be) kid, I had met, and I had confirmation from other veteran parents.
Because I am a human meaning-making machine, Guess what I made these challenges mean?
The voice in my head sounded like this:
I didn’t deserve to have the magical natural birth I wanted, because people like me didn’t deserve things like that. The new mommy’s group wasn’t a possibility which was typical because I never got to belong anywhere. I was so damaged to the core that I had produced the Tasmanian devil, and my parenting was so bad that I had no control which made sense because I could never get it right in life. My laundry list of sad proofs went on and on.
My realization in the car that day was, “Holy smokes, I’ve been using my beautiful girl to anchor all of my disappointments, resentments, and shortcoming. I did that for six years…
In one magical moment my coach pointed out – “your daughter is your anchor for your magic.”
... And everything changed. Now when I look at her, all I see is magic. When I anchored my inner sorcerer and took action from that place, miracles appeared everywhere, in my relationship with myself and others, my work, my capacity for creation and gratitude and love.
I see this experience as evidence that;